


Don't Come Complaining to Me (When You Prove Me Right)

by charlesdarwininthetardis



Category: Biology - Fandom, Layton Kyouju Series | Professor Layton Series
Genre: Biology, Gen, a lot of biology, ap biology, professor layton being all judgemental and logical, which is why we all love him, winged merpeople
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 10:41:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5413763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlesdarwininthetardis/pseuds/charlesdarwininthetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Professor Layton joins another Gressenheller University professor on an archaeology dig, he soon finds that he may be in for more than his always logical mind is prepared for...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Come Complaining to Me (When You Prove Me Right)

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for an AP Biology essay question about form and function of different biological systems in a made-up creature. And because that on its own is incredibly boring, I decided to add a little interest from everyone's favorite archaeology professor!

Adam North sat and stared at the campfire, which was slowly hypnotizing him into a numb trance. He was thinking about all that had happened to him that day, and what tomorrow had in store for him.

Adam was 22, and was studying paleontology at Gressenheller University in London. His professor, having seen the young man’s aptitude at his work, invited him along on the latest expedition so that Adam could gain some practical experience in the field. Today was his first day on the job, and Adam was dead tired. Who knew that real-life paleontology was such hard work?

He was startled from his thoughts when he felt someone sit down beside him. Adam turned to see the kindly old face of Professor John Higgenbottom looking at him with a grin.

“Rough day on the job, eh?” asked his paleontology professor.

Adam sighed wearily. “Yeah, I mean, I didn’t expect all of the dirt, or the sweat, or the bugs.” Adam broke off, swatting a couple of gnats that buzzed around his face, “and it’s so much digging. More than I expected.”

Professor Higgenbottom laughed a great hearty Santa Claus laugh. “Ha ha, my boy.  Yes, it’s true that the job looks much more glorious in the movies. In the real world, it’s a lot more work. A lot of digging, a lot of nature, a lot of failure. But it will be worth it when we find the skeleton of the fabled winged mermaid.”

Adam shot a glance at the Professor. “I thought we were looking for trilobite fossils!”

“That too, my boy, that too. You see, most people don’t think that winged merpeople exist, so they would have shot down my request for this expedition. The trilobites were just a cover up. No, the real goal of this dig is to find evidence of winged merpeople.”

Professor Hershel Layton, the head archaeologist on the expedition, overheard Professor Higgenbottom speaking to Adam and scoffed. “You’re not seriously stuffing the young lad’s head with that nonsense? Winged merpeople are nothing but a myth and you know it, Higgenbottom. Why do you put so much stock in a fictional legend?”

Professor Higgenbottom irritably turned around to look Professor Layton in the eye. “Says the man whose entire archaeological career started because he found the lost city of Akbadain, an artifact that was in itself a mere legend! No, Hershel. Winged merpeople exist, and I’m going to find them.”

Professor Layton reached up and adjusted his ever-present top hat, clearly ruffled by the attack on his past accomplishment’s credibility even though he had to admit that Professor Higgenbottom did have a point. “Alright, Higgenbottom. Whatever you say. But don’t come complaining to me when you can’t find the scientifically impossible winged mermaid,” he chuckled as he went back to drying the dishes from supper.

“What are you saying, Layton? They are indeed scientifically credible! I will prove you wrong, Hershel Layton, and I will find those winged merpeople, if it is the last thing I do!”

Adam watched this whole exchange, getting more and more confused through the whole exchange.

“Professor, what? A winged mermaid? I have never heard of it before, and I’m supposed to be searching for it? How can I recognize it if I don't even know what I am looking for? And why are we out here, looking for mermaid skeletons? If they truly exist, shouldn’t we be down near the tropical ocean?”

Professor Higgenbottom heard this and looked at Adam. “This used to be an ancient ocean, a long, long time ago. As in, thousands of years ago.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t help me much, considering I don’t even know what winged merpeople _are_.”

Professor Higgenbottom’s bright blue eyes twinkled through his spectacles as he looked back at his protege. “Well, my boy, get comfortable. It is time that you learn everything I know about winged merpeople.

“My boy, a long time ago, winged merpeople, or the _Syreni alatum_ , were as common as fish, living in the tropical oceans of the world. They look like just how you would expect: extraordinarily similar Disney's interpretation of merpeople in _The Little Mermaid,_ but with wings. There were both male and female merpeople, similar to humans.” At this, Professor Higgenbottom started drawing a picture of a winged mermaid in the dirt at his feet.

“Professor, I understand why you are drawing a diagram – so I can understand it better – but why are you labeling it?” Adam asked curiously.

Professor Higgenbottom looked down and saw that he had indeed labeled the diagram. “Ha ha! Well, my boy, I am a scientist, after all.” He did not, however, erase the label.

“As I was saying, the existence of winged merpeople is confirmed by the symbols depicting them in many ancient writings that Professor Layton here has found.”

At this, Professor Layton looked up. “Just because I found symbols of winged fish in my studies doesn’t automatically mean that winged merpeople were real, you know,” He muttered, adjusting his top hat again. It was his sign of nervousness, as if being mentioned in Professor Higgenbottom’s story automatically meant that he agreed with it. 

Professor Higgenbottom ignored him and continued. “Let's say that winged merpeople still exist in the modern day. They would have a strange combination of bird, mammal, and fish features. For instance, winged merpeople have both gills and lungs (similar to lungfishes) because they spend time both in the water and out of it. Several of their organ systems would behave very similarly to those of humans, such as the nervous system. Others would behave more similarly to a fish’s because winged merpeople spent most of their time in the water, which is their natural habitat. An example of a fish system that winged merpeople would have is the excretory system. 

“Winged merpeople have the scales of a fish on their tail, because they literally have a tail that can only be described as that of a fish. This tail blends seamlessly to their human torso, which is covered in a material that can be recognized as human skin. They are bilaterally symmetrical and cephalopods. Their heads resemble that of a human, complete with hair (more proof that merpeople are at least part mammal). The wings on their backs are those of birds, so they have feathers arranged in the best way for flight. The wings had to be huge, about six feet long in length to allow the merperson to be held aloft in the air. Also, they have the rigid and streamlined body weight that is best adapted to flying. There was no such thing as a heavy winged merperson. They all had incredibly petite and svelte figures. They are incredibly lightweight as well. They have hollow bones and air sacs to allow for more air inside their bodies, causing their body weight to be even less. There was no merperson who weighed over a hundred pounds. Their light weight and incredibly strong wings is what allowed them to fly.”

“But Professor,” Adam interrupted, “how could that be possible? The wings would have been waterlogged when the merpeople tried to take flight. That would have caused the wings to be too heavy to function. Water and wings don’t mix. Any biologist worth their salt knows that. Also, what is the evolutionary advantage of wings, anyway?”

Professor Layton looked at Professor Higgenbottom with a boastful look in his eye. “The boy has a point, John.”  

Professor Higgenbottom just laughed. “That’s where you are wrong, my boy! You see, the winged merpeople had flaps of skin that covered up the wings when they were folded up, so that the wings never actually got water on them. That way, when the merpeople had to get away from sea predators, they could make a quick getaway into their air, where their predators could not follow them.

“Now, as I said earlier, winged merpeople lived in tropical oceans down by the Caribbean. They are omnivores, and they maintain a diet of fish, seaweed, and kelp. This diet, apart from being pretty much what can be found in the ocean, keeps them from gaining weight. After all, who has heard of becoming obese from fish and seaweed, hmm?”

Both Adam and Professor Layton had to admit that they did not think that such a thing was possible.

“Exactly. However, this diet proves to be more than enough to meet the needs of staying alive and attend to body growth and repair. Merpeople have a very high metabolic rate because of all that swimming and flying they do. They are an entire species of people who eat a LOT, and never get fat. Slightly irritating for us humans who know about this, but oh well. Merpeople have a very high basal metabolic rate because, like mammals; they are thermoregulatory, so they maintain a constant body temperature that is typically higher than their surroundings. After all, the deep sea gets pretty cold. And, they cannot gain too much fat, because that would add to weight when flying. However, their diet gives them enough to get by without too much extra fat. Let’s just hope there is never a famine, because, in theory, that would kill off many winged merpeople rather quickly due to their lack of fat storage. However, they don’t really have to worry about this because they could easily just fly to another area where there is plentiful food.

“They are marine animals, so they are osmoconformers. This means that they are isotonic when compared to the outside water of their environment. They maintain the osmolarity of their body fluids so that they are equal to the outside environment.”

Professor Layton had had enough. “Wait just a minute, Professor. You had said that you were hoping to find the first winged merperson skeleton. How do you know so much about a creature of legend? I mean, habits and customs I understand because that would be in the legends, but their bioenergetics? Their regulatory mechanisms? How do you explain that? ”

Professor Higgenbottom looked at Professor Layton with a very serious expression on his face. “I know because of legends, yes, but I also know from my research. I have spent years researching the winged merpeople, and what I have told you is the best, nay, the only, explanation for their biology. Also, some scientists have found bits and pieces of winged mermaid remains, so I know some of this information from reading their findings. I, however, hope to be the very first to find a complete winged mermaid skeleton. 

“Now, as I was saying, they have a digestive system that is very similar to a fish’s.” Again, Professor Higgenbottom grabbed a stick and started to draw in the dirt as he explained.

“Anyway, back to the digestive system of winged merpeople. They use a mouth (with teeth) to bring food into the body. The pharynx leads to the oesophagus. In it are gill clefts; water flows through these and into the gills. The oesophagus is a muscular tube that goes to the stomach and/or gut. Because winged merpeople have a meat-oriented diet, there is a definite stomach, called the foregut. There are two areas of the stomach. In the cardiac area anteriorly, food enters the stomach from the oesophagus, and in the pyloric section posteriorly, food exits from the stomach into the intestinal tract. The stomach wall secretes hydrochloric acid and digestive enzymes that soften and break down the food into smaller, absorbable pieces. The pH of the stomach actually varies between 2 and 4 depending on whether the stomach is full or not. When it is full, obviously the pH is lower. The intestine is the final sight of digestion of food, which occurs using enzymes secreted from the pancreas. It is typically longer than the distance from the distance to the anus. The waste then goes to the rectum, where it is excreted through the anus by the excretory system.

"The excretory system of a winged merperson is very similar to that of a fish, which makes sense, considering that their digestive system is similar to that of a fish as well. Because they are aquatic animals, winged merpeople release 80-90% of their nitrogenous wastes as ammonia. Some of their wastes diffuse through the gills and out into the surrounding water. Some of their waste is also removed through the kidneys, which filter water from their blood. In this way, kidneys help merpeople maintain bodily fluids, collect and excrete waste, and maintain pH levels. Because winged merpeople are marine creatures, the kidneys concentrate wastes and return as much water to the body as possible because marine creatures lose water via osmosis. They do this by concentrating bodily salts and excreting them in urea, which keeps salt levels balanced. Merpeople also eliminate solid waste such as undigested foods and digestive byproducts similar to humans. I think you’d appreciate if I won’t disgust you with the details. However, an interesting thing about winged merpeople that the orifice that leads from their excretory system is typically covered by a rotating scale until a merperson wishes to “go,” then they flip it up. So, that’s why you don’t typically see a merperson’s anus in images of winged merpeople. ”

“Zzzzzzzzzzzz….. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

Professor Higgenbottom was jerked out of his absolutely entrancing description of a merperson’s digestive and excretory system by the sound of Adam’s snoring. Gently, he nudged him awake to the sound of Professor Layton’s chuckling.

“Mmrrh. Mmh. Hmm. Wha-?” Adam groggily sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Oh dear, did I fall asleep on you, Professor? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. But, um, the digestive and excretory systems of winged merpeople are a _little_ boring. And I’m _really_   tired. I mean, could you maybe talk about something a little more interesting?”

“Well, my boy, I have to admit that I’m little put out that you don’t find the digestive and excretory systems of winged merpeople to be just absolutely _fascinating_ ,” Professor Higgenbottom broke off, seeing the Adam exchange a look with Professor Layton, who couldn’t hold it in anymore and just burst out laughing.

“What? I’m just joshing with you! Now, would you be more interested in hearing about the nervous systems of winged merpeople?”

“Yes, Professor. That would be great.” Adam nodded sheepishly.

“Okay, so, unlike their excretory and digestive systems, the nervous system of winged merpeople is very similar to that of humans. For instance, just like us, winged merpeople have neurons, which are nerve cells that transfer information within the body. Neurons are made up of three basic parts. The cell body of a neuron holds most of its organelles. Dendrites are highly branched extensions of the neuron, which receive signals from other neurons. Axons are long extensions that transmit the signal from neuron to neuron. Axons are connected to the cell body at axon hillocks.

“Basically, how the nervous system works is that sensors detect external stimuli and internal conditions and transmit information along sensory neurons. This sensory information is sent to the brain, where interneurons integrate the information, and motor output leaves the brain via motor neurons, which trigger muscle activity. The nervous system is split into two parts: the central nervous system (the brain and spinal cord, which is filled with cerebrospinal fluid), and the peripheral nervous system ( which brings information into and out of the central nervous system).

“The peripheral nervous system is split in two main divisions. The first is afferent, or sensory neurons. These bring sensory signals into the brain. Their counterparts are the efferent, or motor neurons. These carry signals away from the brain and out to the peripheral system. There are two kinds of efferent neurons. The first is the motor system, which controls all of the skeletal, or voluntary, muscles of the winged merperson’s body. The other type of efferent neuron is the autonomic nervous system, which controls involuntary muscles, such as those in the cardiac or digestive system. In the autonomic system, there are three divisions. The enteric division mainly deals with digestion, which I covered earlier. The other two, the sympathetic and the parasympathetic, form antagonistic pairs. These two systems are constantly vying for the control of the merperson’s body, with the sympathetic system triggering the fight-or-flight response that we associate with panic and adrenaline. The parasympathetic is the opposite; it causes the body to “rest and digest,” as they say. This allows merpeople to calm down, go to the bathroom, and just chill if necessary.

“So, how do these signals pass from neuron to neuron, you ask? Well, inside the cell is a negative charge, and a positive charge is outside. Ungated channels maintain this resting potential, which is about -70 mV with gated Na\+ and K\+ channels are closed. When a stimulus opens some sodium channels, Na+ inflow through these channels depolarizes the membrane (makes the voltage between the inside and the outside smaller). On the other hand, if the voltage between the inside of the cell and the outside increases, this is called hyperpolarization. This occurs if a potassium ion leaves the cell. Anyway, if the depolarization reaches the threshold, about -55 mV, it triggers an action potential. Depolarization opens most sodium channels, while the potassium channels remain closed. Na\+ influx makes the inside of the membrane positive with respect to the outside. Then, most sodium channels become inactivated, which blocks Na\+ outflow. This is the rising stage of the action potential. However, this is not the natural order of things, so then potassium channels open, permitting K+ outflow. This is hyperpolarization, as I said earlier, and it makes the inside of the cell negative again. This is the falling phase of the action potential. Last, in the undershoot of the action potential, the sodium channels close, but some potassium channels are still open. For a brief period of time, the neuron cannot receive new signals because the cell is resetting by closing the potassium channels and unblocking the sodium channels. This also helps the signal not accidentally travel backwards. Now, like I said before, most axons are covered with a mylenated sheath that acts like insulation. This breaks at points called nodes of Ranvier. The signal jumps down the nodes of Ranvier in what is called salutatory conduction, which speeds up the signal greatly.

 “Just like in humans, different parts of the brains of winged merpeople have different functions. Interestingly, their functions are very similar to that of humans. For instance, the brainstem coordinates and conducts information between brain centers. Basically, it keeps them alive by regulating breathing and heartbeat. The three parts of the brainstem have specific functions. The midbrain controls the receipt and integration of sensory information. The pons regulates breathing in the medulla. The medulla oblongata controls breathing, cardiovascular activity, swallowing, vomiting, digestion, etc. the reticular formation also regulates the amount and type of information that reaches the cerebral cortex and affects alertness.

“The cerebellum coordinates motor output and makes sure that their muscles are bent correctly. It also helps with perception. It is important for ordination and error checking in motor and cognitive skills, and for learning and remembering motor skills.

“The diencephalon is located at the back base of the brain. In it are three regions. The epithalamus generates cerebrospinal fluid. The thalamus is the main input center for sensory information entering the cerebrum and the main output for motor information leaving the cerebrum. The hypothalamus regulates basics such as feeding, fighting, fleeing, reproducing, and daily/seasonal circadian rhythms, which are regulated by the hormone melatonin.

“Finally, the cerebrum holds memory. It is the largest, and the most complicated, part of the brain. It is split into the left and right hemispheres, linked by the corpus callosum – a thick band of axons that provides communication between the right and left cerebral cortices. The left hemisphere is better with language, logic, math, and serial sequences. On the other hand, the right hemisphere is better with pattern recognition, nonverbal thinking, and emotional processing, although it is unknown if winged merpeople have emotion or speak. It is thought that they do, however. If it turns out that they can process emotion, this would occur in the limbic system. The outer layer of the cerebral cortex is the neocortex, thought to aid in cognition (the perception and reasoning that forms knowledge).”

At this point, Professor Higgenbottom glanced at Adam, who was staring at him with wide eyes.

“What is it, my boy?” The Professor asked kindly.

“That’s a lot of information on the nervous system of the winged merpeople. Do I actually have to remember all of that?” His student asked nervously.

Professor Higgenbottom laughed. “Well, it’s interesting, but there won’t be a test on it, if that’s what you’re wondering. It’s definitely a good thing to know, though. Know thy enemy, they always say, or in this case, know thy fossil. Ha ha. Anyway, it’s late, and I think that’s enough information on the winged merpeople for one night. Off to sleep now, Mr. North. It’s a long day tomorrow.”

Adam nodded and went off to find his stuff to get ready for sleep, stepping carefully to try and avoid scuffing the diagrams that surrounded where he and his professor were sitting. Professor Higgenbottom watched him go, and then turned to Professor Layton, who was paying rapt attention despite himself.

“So, Hershel. Do you still think that winged merpeople are scientifically impossible?” He asked.

Professor Layton adjusted his top hat. “Well, that’s just the thing, isn’t it, John,” he murmured, sound rather unsure, “you built a rather solid case for them, I have to admit. I find that I cannot contradict anything that you have said, so I cannot really vehemently deny their existence.”

“So you believe me.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Well,” said Professor Layton, scratching the back of his neck, “I wouldn’t go _that_ far.” 

Professor Higgenbottom was chuckling at this last statement when Adam poked his head out at him from around the corner of the nearest tent. “Professor, I have a question.”

“Yes, my boy?” Professor Higgenbottom smiled affectionately.

“Are winged merpeople… did they really exist? If they did, do they still?”

“And that, my boy,” said John Higgenbottom, winking, “is the question. Is it not?”


End file.
